“In 2022, we took a little trip
Along with Admiral Maggie
Down the “mighty”
Mississip
We took a jug of Dewars
And we took a bunch of wine
But there ain’t enough alcohol in the world
To make the Mississippi
fine.”
(With the apologies to Johnny Horton)
You probably remember the glorious image of the Mississippi
River offered by your grade school teachers.
Mighty river rolling to the sea.
Vital pathway of exploration.
Lifeblood of a nation. Critical
arterial of commerce. Blah, blah,
blah, yada, yada, yada………
To which we politely reply, “Bunk!”
To Loopers, the portion of the Mississippi from Alton, IL to
its confluence with the Ohio River at Cairo (pronounced “Kay-row”) IL is just a
necessary evil. It is simply part of the path we must follow from the Great
Lakes to the Kentucky Lakes and the Tennessee Valley. It bears little resemblance to the river of Hernando Desoto Or of Mark Twain. Or of General U S Grant. Or of James Michener. Or even of John
Cameron Swayze. Sheesh.
Leaving our berth at Alton after topping off with 340
gallons of diesel (don't a$k), we encounter a brief flash of brilliance as we pass under the
4,600 feet long Clark Bridge connecting Illinois and Missouri.
The river is board and deep and shining in
the morning sun. But as we pass thru the
Melvin Price Lock at 400 feet above sea level, we realize that its all down
hill from there. On several levels.
Below the lock, we saw the current increase to 2+ kts,
cutting our fuel consumption by about 10%.
Our first historical encounter is with the confluence with
the Missouri River, aka The Big Muddy.
We approached with vision of grandeur.
Lewis and Clark, mountain men in canoes laden with pelts, flatboats of
settlers with all their possessions., the opening of the Great American West! Surely there will be a monument. Maybe a visitor’s center and some reenactors? A native American protestor or two? .
Well, not so much.
What we saw was a nondescript, albeit muddy, river flowing
into the Mississippi from the west. And
forming a large sand bar just waiting to snare an unwary boater. No monument, so sign, no scenic overlook,
nothing. And, if you stare at it too
long, pondering the lack if recognition of this historic juncture, you run the
risk of missing this sign:
Miss this sign and you will find yourselves floating over
the infamous Chain
of Rocks Dam. To. Your. Doom.. Follow
the sign and you will “enjoy” an 8.5 mile no-wake-speed slog down the Chain of
Rocks Canal to the Chain of Rocks Lock.
Beyond the scenic boredom of Chain of Rocks lies St Louis, a city whose history is largely
defined by the river. But with one
prominent exception (The Gateway Arch) it is a city that seems to have turned
its back on the river. There are no boater facilities, no waterfront access
or development. Just barge terminals and
flood walls.
The existence of the cities and towns along the Western
Rivers is dominated by flood risk. So
they seem to fall into two categories. Some are quite distant from the river. These then require a hike/Uber/Courtesy Car in
order to access city amenities. The few
cities built close to the river looked a bit like medieval walled cities,
guarded by walls, towers, and levies against the threats from the waters. A downright inhospitable look to approaching
Loopers.
After a cooperative photographic monument in St Louis with
buddy boat Water Witch…..
…..we headed downriver to
our port for the night , Hoppies Marine Service. A legend among Loopers, Hoppies is that only
reliable source of fuel between Alton, IL and Paducah, KY, a distance of some 250
miles. And like some of the places we stopped on the
Illinois, Hoppies is (to put it politely) rustic, consisting of three
re-purposed river barges moored just off the river channel with a fuel pump and
space of 6-8 boats. The decks are strewn
with gear and simply walking the length of “docks” is hazardous. And we were SO glad to have it
available.
The folks who run the place
are wonderfully helpful, especially Debbie, daughter of the founders, Hoppie and Fern (now in their 90’s), who
provided an invaluable briefing on current river and anchorage conditions. With water levels “on a fall” and no marinas
for 200 miles, her knowledge and insights helped us understand which anchorage
sites would eb available to us. We
topped off the evening with a short Uber ride for a Looper Italian dinner in
the town of Liberty, MO.
Departing Hoppies on a brisk current, our group headed for the mouth if the
Kaskaskia River 42 miles to the south, where a USACE dam provides free mooring space (no power or
water) along a lock wall for 8-10 boats.
We tied to the concrete wall and dinghied Admiral Maggie to shore for
her “business” and for a nice walk to the nearby visitors center. The young docent there didn’t comment that we
were still wearing our life jackets, but asked if we wanted to see the inside of
the lock. We declined, noting that we
had seen the inside of more than enough locks, thank you VERY much. We closed out the evening with a sunset Docktails
(Wall-tails?) gathering atop the lock wall.
October 1 saw on a 70 mile voyage to an anchorage known as
Little Diversion Canal. A man-made
channel intended to divert storm water to the river from several Missouri
communities, it provides a secure sheltered anchorage (as long as its not
raining!) and is another Looper “secret”. With space for 6-10 boats. At “normal” water levels, it offers a 70’
wide, 20’ deep channel with good anchor holding and wooded shore. In our current situation, it offered a muddy
ditch, barely 50’ wide with maybe 6’ of water at the center. Add a 3+kt river current and a prominent sandbar at the entrance and
it got even more challenging. Still, we managed to get 7 boats secure with
bow and stern anchors and settled in for the night.
With the narrow confines, getting Admiral Maggie to shore
required only a short dinghy ride. All we
had to do was run the bow of the dinghy up on the shore and hop out on to dry
land, right? Well, not so much. What she (and we) encountered for the first
time was Mississippi Mud. OMG. It’s a black mix of fine silt, clay, and god-knows-what-else
with adhesive properties like no other.
NASA should be using this stuff to hold the International Space Station
together. SHEESH! the first trip left the floor of the dinghy smeared
with mud and it took is 20 minutes to
clean it from Maggie’s paws and our shoes.
Even Commadore Kathleen’s prized $15 rubber boots were no match for
it. For subsequent trips, we modified
our technique to allow Maggie to hop ashore for her needs while we waited in
the dinghy. (he,he he😊
)
With many anchorages below Little Diversion unavailable due
to low water, We and Water Witch
decided our next day would be a 100 mile stretch all the way to Paducah, Ky on
the Ohio River. This would be our
longest voyage to date in both time and distance and a test our endurance (and
that of Maggie’s bladder.)
Like most folks, you probably think the Mississippi flows
south. But the stretch between Little
Diversion and Cairo (“Kay-row”) IL uses the entire compass. It winds from south to West, to east, to
north, and back to south. Like a drunken
snake.
But we were pleased by the
limited barge traffic and were able to cruise at 10.5-11 knots to help reduce
our travel time. Then, just 20 miles
above Cairo ("Kay-row"), in some of the twistiest sections of the river, we encountered
eight large tows in a row, requiring that we slow down and proceed cautiously
along the edge of the charted channel to give them sufficient room. Turns out there was a large dredge working just above Cairo that
had been holding back traffic and paused its work to allow all these towboats
to pass with their attendant barges. Right in our faces. Your tax dollars at work. Sheesh.
At Cairo (“Kay-row”)
we left the Mississippi and turned to port to begin a short voyage on the Ohio River.
Now THIS is a river worthy of the title
“Mighty”. At this point the Ohio is
twice as wide, twice as deep, and twice
as clean as the Mississippi. In fact, were it not for the Ohio’s contribution,
we question whether the Mississippi would even reach the Gulf of Mexico.
With 45 miles still left in our voyage, two other things
changed with our turn into the Ohio.
First the current was no longer our friend. Second, the navigation buoys switch sides of
the river. Because we were now
proceeding upstream for the first time since leaving Lake Michigan. We had to adjust our RPM to maintain our
speed and adjust our piloting to get back into a “red right returning”
mindset.
In company with Water Witch and a very intrepid canoeist
bound for Knoxville).....
.......we passed thru the Olmstead Lock and made our way to the
City Transient Dock at Paducah, KY. A
recent addition to the Ohio River, this facility became and instant hit with
Loopers, adding a much-needed fuel and rest stop between Hoppies and the
resorts in the Kentucky Lakes region. After
10 hours underway we were a bit weary (and Admiral Maggie was REALLY ready for a
trip to store.) Fortunately, we arrived
in the midst of evening Docktails for a dozen Looper boats and received refreshments and no shortage of (good and bad) docking advice and
assistance. Next up? Kentucky
Lakes. But that is for another time..
Thanks for following.
Be sure to track us on NEBO!
